Messy Middlescence

Podcast by Tara (Conti) Bansal and Christina (Conti) Donovan

Messy Middlescence

Like adolescence – "Middlescence" is a time of tremendous change touching most aspects of our lives. There are the physical and hormonal changes but also many of the rhythms, relationships and frameworks that have dominated our lives for decades all start to shift in ways that are unbalancing at best – seismic at worst. Our podcast will explore the challenges and opportunities of these unique “middle” years. However – ours will be different because it is one of sharing, exploring and figuring things out together. It is "messy" because we do not have answers but we hope to discover some. We hope to motivate and / or guide listeners to actively change both their perspective and day-to-day reality of this unique time. We also aim to create a supportive connected community of listeners with similar struggles and questions. We truly hope you will join us!

Latest episodes

05 May 2026

What An Injury Taught Me In Mid-Life

As we age, we’re often reminded to stay active. And yet, aging also makes us more vulnerable to injuries that can unexpectedly disrupt that effort.

Last October, Tina injured her back while traveling. At first, it didn’t seem like a big deal. She had experienced minor back pain before, and it usually resolved with rest. This time was different.

What started as a small issue turned into weeks, then months, of persistent pain. Activities she loved—running and strength training—became too painful to continue. She began to wonder if that chapter of her life was behind her.

By January, she decided it was time to seek help and began working with a chiropractor. What followed was a slow and often frustrating road to recovery. After three and a half months of consistent work, she is now—very gradually—easing back into her routine.

She’s not fully recovered. But she feels hopeful again.

More importantly, the experience changed how she thinks about her body, her workouts, and the aging process itself.

In today’s episode, Tina shares her recovery journey and the lessons she’s taking with her:

• The importance of seeking care sooner rather than later

• Following professional guidance, even when progress feels slow

• Resisting the urge to self-diagnose through the internet

• Staying flexible in how you approach movement during recovery

• Listening to your body—really listening

• Recognizing that recovery often takes longer as we age

• Prioritizing stretching and dynamic warm-ups

• Accepting that your body may not be as resilient as it once was—and learning to work with it, not against it

Sometimes the hardest part of staying active isn’t pushing forward—it’s learning when to slow down.

00:00

37:30

21 April 2026

Messy Middlescence Talks About Life Coaching

Imagine having someone in your life whose main focus is to help you reach your goals—someone who really listens and supports you along the way. It’s a powerful idea. And it’s exactly what a life or personal coach offers.

Most people are familiar with the term “life coach,” but we wondered—how many actually understand what a life coach actually does? And when it might be helpful?

Because so many of our conversations here at Messy Middlescence center around transition, change, and reinvention, this felt like an important topic to explore.

And, as it turns out, we have our own certified life coach right here.

In this episode, Tina interviews Tara about her path into life coaching, what it really looks like in practice, and how it can support people during times of change—or even when you’re not quite sure what you want, but you know something needs to shift.

We talk through:

Why Tara chose to become a life coach—and the experiences that shaped that decision
The differences between a life coach, therapist, and consultant
Common situations where coaching can be especially helpful
How to find a coach who’s the right fit for you
The different specialties within life coaching
What Tara has learned—both from her training and from working with her own coaches
How coaching sessions are typically structured
The role of clarity—understanding what you really want and how to move toward it
And why, in an ideal world, everyone might benefit from having a coach.

00:00

41:46

09 April 2026

Connecting through Games

As we continue our Season 3 theme of connection, we’re talking about something simple that we both enjoy—games.

Growing up, some of our most consistent and memorable family moments of connection came from sitting around a table playing cards or a round of Trivial Pursuit. There wasn’t anything particularly elaborate about it (although it sometimes got competitive), but there was something about having a shared activity that made being together feel fun and natural.

It feels like games are making a quiet comeback. And maybe that’s because they offer something many of us are craving—a low-effort way to connect in a world that often feels so busy and digital.

Games give you something to do while you’re together. They take the pressure off needing to carry the conversation. Whether it’s a quick card game, a weekly trivia night, or something as simple as Jenga or ping pong, they create space for connection in a way that feels light and approachable.

In this episode, we talk about the games we’ve loved over the years—both growing up and now with our own families—as well as a few we’re curious to try. We also share what we’ve noticed about how different games fit different groups, moods, and stages of life.

Our hope is that this conversation reminds you that connection doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes it’s as simple as pulling out a deck of cards and inviting someone to join you.

00:00

25:09

24 March 2026

Lisa Kramer and the Little Miracles of Change

To us here at Messy Middlescence, when we hear the word “reinvention”, it has a magical connotation to it. We are not sure why. Because when you look closely, reinvention isn’t easy - it involves tremendous work, determination, and a willingness to step into the unknown. Reinvention is a conscious process of transforming one’s life, career or mindset -- or sometimes all three. It requires letting go of what is familiar and comfortable and stepping toward something new without a clear map.

The desire to reinvent oneself, one’s mindset or one’s career can happen at any age. Most of us have experienced this desire at some point in our lives and it can be the motivation for significant change. But true reinvention, the kind that leads to meaningful, lasting change, is much more unusual. And perhaps that is where the “magic” comes in.

True reinvention requires something deeper than hard work and determination. It asks us to listen to that quiet inner voice, the one that is so often drowned out by fear, societal pressures and existing responsibilities. Learning to hear and trust that voice is what makes real transformation possible.

Today we speak with Lisa Kramer, founder and president of Leading with Intention who has followed that inner voice time and again — successfully reinventing her professional life multiple times along the way.

In our conversation, Lisa shares her own experiences with reinvention as well as the work she does supporting others through similar transitions. Her recent pivot to retirement coaching focuses on helping individuals and couples design their next chapter with intention and clarity which feels relevant to anyone navigating change.

Lisa brings both honesty and wisdom to this conversation. She helps us see that reinvention is both practical and, in its own way, a little bit magical.

In this episode, we explore:

How Lisa’s background in social work shaped her approach as a coach
The role of relationships, connection, and community especially as we age
Her experiences navigating the challenges of an aging parent and what supported her most
How creating a personal manifesto can offer clarity and direction
The idea of “purpose with a little “p” and why it can feel more accessible and fulfilling.
The difficulty, and necessity, of letting go of identity at different stages of life
Why reinvention is so hard": there is no formula, no clear path and no “instruction manual”
How fear and discomfort show up in times of change and why the outcome often surprises us

00:00

58:03

11 March 2026

Our Earliest Money Memories

Earlier this season, in Episode #44, Tara and Tina interviewed Carl Richards — bestselling author, speaker, and host of the Behavior Gap Radio and 50 Fires podcasts. During that conversation, Tara asked Carl what single question might be most impactful for our audience. Carl suggested:

“What is your earliest memory of money?”

It’s a question often used by financial advisors to help uncover how early experiences may have shaped someone’s views about money. Carl described it as a simple but powerful way to begin meaningful conversations about money — without stress or conflict.

And honestly, it’s also just interesting. Even a little fun.

This seemingly simple question can be a gateway to learning more about yourself — or about someone you love. What surprised us most wasn’t just the memories themselves — but the emotions that came with them.

Tara, who works as both a financial advisor and life coach, has encountered this question many times in her work. Tina, on the other hand, had never heard it before and had never really considered it.

So they decided to explore it together — especially as siblings who grew up in the same household — and share their own earliest money memories and how those experiences may have shaped their attitudes and emotions around money.

In this short episode, they discuss:

• The emotions intertwined with early money memories — and the lasting impact those emotions can have

• The tension between joy and abundance on one hand, and responsibility and respect on the other

• How money can become a source of marital tension — and the roles we often bring into relationships such as “spender” or “saver”

• The realization that many of our assumptions and beliefs about money are deeply buried and internalized

• The social norms around money — and how those norms vary across families and cultures

00:00

24:03

24 February 2026

Learning about Long Term Care with Victoria Beerer

Tina never could have imagined that Long Term Care (LTC) would be a frequent conversation topic within her social circles. But this past year – it seems to come up time and time again. It makes sense. As we move through middle age, many of us are watching our parents or other loved ones age. We begin to observe firsthand both the benefits of possessing long-term care coverage and the potential risks associated with lacking it. The overall topic of LTC can feel daunting. It touches health, money, independence, and the uncomfortable reality that none of us are immune to aging. It is all too easy to put off thinking about and planning for this stage. It was the result of these recurring conversations with her peers as well as her own ignorance on this topic, that Tina proposed this as an episode for Messy Middlescence. Tara, through her work as a financial planner, knew the perfect person to demystify this topic and answer common questions. Victoria Beerer is the Long Term Care Specialist at Rambart-Hilb Agency, and brings her 15+ years of experience and knowledge with Long Term Care to help us understand what LTC really is, how it works, and what has changed over the past 20 years. Most importantly, Victoria shares why starting the conversation earlier matters more than most of us realize. The information Victoria provides in this episode is both comprehensive and straightforward. Regardless of where LTC is on your radar, you will not regret tuning in for this episode.

Topics discussed today include:

What Long-Term Care actually covers and what it does not;
The difference between mortality (life insurance) and morbidity (LTC)
Why underwriting for LTC is often stricter than life insurance and some of the possible reasons people are denied LTC;
Traditional vs. hybrid LTC policies — and why products have evolved;
What are the 4 key parts to a Long Term Care Policy;
When to start the conversation (hint: earlier than you think);
Why statistics around LTC can be misleading;
The biggest misconceptions (Medicare does not cover extended custodial care) about LTC;
How to think about self-funding vs. transferring risk;
What happens when one spouse needs care and the other remains at home;
Why “something is better than nothing”
The benefits of working with a knowledgeable agent
The first steps in purchasing a LTC policy

00:00

55:17