Colleen's Story

One of the most difficult aspects of middle age is the continual reminder and realization of how fragile life is. This is not to say that terrible things do not happen to young people – they definitely do. However, for many of us – by the time we reach our 40’s and 50’s - we have either experienced or repeatedly witnessed lives that drastically change in an instant. It is almost as if a blindfold is removed and what we once thought of as “unthinkable” is more common than we believed. Tragic events, accidents, and diagnoses occur suddenly and then life as we know it (or as people we care about know it), is abruptly and completely shattered. The inevitable truth that life is both tremendously fragile and fleeting becomes something we understand and feel more deeply as we age.

As we continue our series this season on grief and loss, our guest today is Colleen Albright, who graciously and courageously shares her story of unthinkable losses. She shares her story in hopes that it will help others.

Colleen's life was a tapestry of joy and challenges, raising her children and thriving in a career she loves. On December 1^st 2022, a seemingly ordinary day in Coleen’s life, everything changed for her. And then it changed again. And again. In less than a year, Colleen experienced the deaths of her teenage son, her mother, her father and underwent a divorce.

She experienced a “before and after” that “obliterated” the person she was. Her story is not an easy one to hear but she tells it with a poise and grace that astounded us. Colleen offers many insights into navigating midlife's unpredictable challenges with courage and hope including:

• There is no blueprint for grief. It is not linear. It is messy. And everyone grieves in different ways.
• Grief is exhausting; grief is work.
• For those who lose loved ones, you never get over it and it is important to embrace and accept that. There is no going back to who you were. There is no “normal” anymore.
• Grief support groups are similar to finding a therapist – you don’t always click and it might take some effort to find one that you connect with and will help you.
• The people that helped Colleen the most were not the ones she would have expected before this happened. Many people - no matter how much they care - just do not know what to do to support someone deeply grieving.
• The feeling of time changes in grief. It progresses but feels different.
• Let your grieving person talk. It is a gift for them to tell stories, memories and talk about their loved one.
• There is no need to say anything to a grieving person. Do not say that it will be ok; do not say they need to stop crying or take a deep breath. Allow each person to grieve in the way they need to; allow them to be and do whatever they need.
• The “fog” of grief is real and can last a long time.